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You don’t just have to listen to me. You MUST listen to me!

14 Jan

(loosely based on a true story)

Trigger warning: not caring about your opinion

Texts between friend and me:  “Oh no, Godzilla!”  That seems immediately relevant, you’ve definitely got my full attention.  “Fire! The theater we’re in is on fire!”  You had me at ‘fire’.  “Asteroid Apophis will impact Earth and end civilization as we know in six months!”  Yeah, that sounds like something I should hear you out on. Please continue.

Texts between friend and me #2:  “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.”  This sounds vaguely entertaining, tell me more.  “Halley’s Comet will impact Earth and end civilization as we know in eighteen months!”  OK, that topic bears discussion, but let me finish binge-watching Friends first.Texts between friend and me #3:  “I’d like to talk to you about these fine Amway products.”  Um, no thanks.  “Can I interest you in a home in this new real estate development in Guyana called Jonestown?”  Not really, I’m happy with my current residence.  “My political beliefs are life-changing, life-affirming, and will move you to both tears and action! I’ve told you about them before, but I need you to set aside an uninterrupted hour to discuss them with me further vis a vis your failure to enthusiastically embrace them.”

Texts between friend and me #4:  Ha ha ha! Oh wait, you’re serious?  “Yes”  Oh. Well, I’ve actually already given that topic considerable thought, and I’m fine with where I’m at.  “No no no, you don’t understand. Anything less than full-throated approval is to be against us, to be on the side of INJUSTICE!”  Um, no it isn’t. Look, we’re both good people and generally aligned on most issues. Let’s just agree to disagree on this one.Texts between friend (?) and me #5:  “I’ve been personally injured by people rejecting this belief system. WE MUST DISCUSS!”  This alleged injury from me?  “No, not that one, but now finding it hurtful to me you won’t let me evangelize you on this topic. Not hearing me violates my boundaries which means YES now you have hurt me :(”  wtf?Texts between friend (?) and me #6:  Politely declining to talk to you about this has injured you and therefore compels me to listen to you? Well, if that’s your position, you’ve violated my boundaries by ignoring my refusal to discuss this with you. Check and mate.  “[rolls eyes]" "[shakes head sadly]" "[sends out thoughts and prays for your conversion]"Texts between friend (?) and me #7:  "[adds you to list of those to go up against the wall when the revolution comes if the thoughts and prayers don’t work]" "You have failed to grasp the severity of the situation. Your close-mindedness saddens (and angers) me. Once you learn the error of your ways, I’ll be here, waiting to forgive you and accept you with open arms into the One True Faith(TM).”Texts between former friend and me #8:  "[adds you to list of those to go up against the wall when the revolution comes if the thoughts and prayers don’t work]" "You have failed to grasp the severity of the situation. Your close-mindedness saddens (and angers) me. Once you learn the error of your ways, I’ll be here, waiting to forgive you and accept you with open arms into the One True Faith(TM).”  [Laughs bitterly, rolls eyes, shakes head sadly, realizes thoughts and prayers are pointless, then clicks ‘Block’.]

Anyone else who has been cornered by someone who insists on lecturing you find these sorts of ordeals … depleting?

No, just me?

Look, don’t misunderstand me. Everyone’s entitled to their (non-violent!) beliefs, regardless of the degree of sanity inherently present in said beliefs. Have at it, good on you. I think it’s super lovely that you’re engaged in whatever process you’re going on about. I might even agree with you on some points. And if I ask you to expound on them, you’re good to go. But.

But.

As controversial as this may be to some folks, I need to be absolutely clear:

* In no way, shape, or form is anyone obligated to listen to your beliefs

* A refusal to do so is not a crime against you

Or think of it this way: if a religious missionary shows up at your door, do you want the right to choose whether or not you close the door on them? Or should you be required to hear them out? And hear out the next person who comes to your door selling something? And the person after that? And after that?

Boundaries, people, boundaries.

I get it. We’re living in divisive times. People are angry.

Scared.

Outraged.

And people have opinions.

Oh yes, we have opinions. Strong ones, no less.

But good grief! The constant flinging of opinions at me is exhausting and everywhere these days!

(Remember, I’m an introvert at heart and just want to be left alone most of the time.)

But you know what? During times like this, does it really pay to drive a wedge between yourself and your friends? Because now instead of not convincing them of your opinion, you’ve not convinced them of your opinion and driven them out of your life.

It’s like losing twice.

Twice!

Sure, “agreeing to disagree” may not feel like a win, but at least you still have a friend. And that’s not a bad thing, right?

Oh no, I just realized that this whole post is me hoisting my opinion upon you! I retroactively apologize unreservedly for inflicting this intrusive burden upon you. Though…you did click on the link, which is tantamount to asking me…

Feel free to agree to disagree.

 
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Posted by on 14 January 2021 in Guilty Until Proven Innocent, Life

 

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