Is this the future of human evolution?
Today is Black Friday.
If someone made a movie about humans being selectively bred to create better meat-producers to feed an occupying force of space cannibals, people would consider it a horror movie.
Yet no one cringes in queasy horror at the thought of turkeys being selectively bred for food.
Either we need to be more shocked at the plight of the turkey, or less uptight about cannibalism. I’m not sure which. Yet.
But there is hope for our rabidly consuming society. We have set aside the day after Thanksgiving to remember the countless thousands, perhaps even millions, of moist, plump turkeys that had their lives extinguished in an automated, completely mechanized way that we might frenzy around a table with our extended families.
Though it is possible that frenzying is due to arguing over politics. Always a bad idea when hungry people are grasping for mashed potatoes just out of reach.
So while you struggle through the solemn, remembering crowds in the stores today, belly heavy with the bounty of yesterday’s feast, heart heavy with the after-effects of heartburn, keep in mind the true meaning of Black Friday:
It’s about all the turkeys out there.
Happy shopping, suckers.
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