2020 came and went and somehow, miraculously, against all expectations, the world didn’t end.
At first, I felt relief.
Well, as much relief as anyone surviving 2020 can be expected to muster.
Which is not a whole lot, to be honest.
But then the new year rolled in and, as the weeks and months passed, I realized that 2021 is actually 2020’s way of saying, “Ha ha, you thought the worst was behind you? Eff you, the end is still on, baby, it just wasn’t bad enough by December 31st. But no worries, we’re just about there now!”
2021 has not been a great year. And most of what’s been horrible about it is down to people.
People being angry.
Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
Livid.
Apoplectic.
Rabid.
About everything.
Long gone are the days of stoic fatalism where people suffered in silence and just got on with life.
Remember those days, when we understood that life is hard, and the universe doesn’t give a crap about being fair?
Ah, so nice and quiet.
But now I can’t go anywhere (online or in the real world) without someone getting in my face about something.
Maskers, anti-maskers.
Vaccers, anti-vaccers.
Left, right.
Serial comma users, non-serial comma users.
Frankly, it makes me kinda hopeful that we’ll return to lockdowns.
(Oh yeah, lockdowners, anti-lockdowners.)
Because at least then I can stay home and avoid the real-world confrontations without people judging me as some sort of crazy recluse.
Crazy recluses, (somewhat less?) crazy extroverts.
Honestly, if there is anything that has contributed to my complete and utter lack of interest in fixing anything, it’s the current climate of universal, mutually exclusive outrage.
There is no dialogue anymore, just screaming matches and doxxing and death threats against those that fail someone else’s purity test.
I’m sick of it.
I’ve got people mad at me for my refusal to be an activist. I’m told I’m not ‘good’ enough and I need to try harder and I owe it to them to be on their side.
By different people who, incidentally, happen to vehemently disagree with each other.
Talk about damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
And yes, I’ve lost friends over this.
So congratulations, world. All that screaming and yelling has finally succeeded in normalizing something for me, though probably not what you were hoping:
Indifference.
In today’s social environment, caring is a lose/lose proposition so I did the only rational thing I could:
I stopped caring.
I don’t care about causes I opposed a few years ago.
I don’t care about causes I supported a few years ago.
I don’t care about causes I was already luke-warm to.
I don’t care because I’m exhausted.
With the smug self-righteousness.
The hubris of folks thinking they have the monopoly on ‘Truth’.
The irrational, spitting-mad fervor.
The sheer volume of the noise.
The people on one side of an equation thinking the above critique applies only to the people on the other side of that equation.
So I give up.
I cede the battle for the world to the nut jobs, and I fervently hope they wipe each other out so when the dust settles, the sane people can dig out and go, “Finally, the global temper tantrum is over, the world as we knew it has ended, and now we can rebuild a better, kinder world that recognizes there is no such thing as absolute truth and a difference of opinion isn’t a declaration of war.
Yeah, I’m angry too (clearly). But I’m just venting, not trying to convert anyone. To do that, I’d have to care, and as should be abundantly clear now, I don’t.
In the meantime, I’m going back to what I’ve been doing for months now: retreating into my TBR list and losing myself in a good book.
Turns out I do still care about good books, so maybe there’s hope?
Ha, who am I kidding?
ian m dudley 