Being an avid reader and aspiring writer, I listen to NPR a lot.
Do I pledge?
That’s not important here. And it’s rude to ask.
My point is that by listening to NPR, I am often exposed to things I’ve never encountered before.
Like haul videos.
Who knew tweeners made videos about all the cheap, fashionable clothes they bought that week?
I sure didn’t know, and probably didn’t need to.
This weekend, the rerun of This American Life featured ASMR, or Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, videos.
Basically, they’re videos that make you sort of shiver/tingle in your head.
Yeah, weird, so it caught my attention. And held it.
A common trigger is whispering. Based on the innocent presumption that was the only trigger, I started watching a few of these videos.
There are way more triggers out there than just whispering.
Let’s just say they involve role-playing.
They’re like phone sex without the sex.
Or two-way communication.
Or, technically speaking, phones. They usually use YouTube instead, which is notoriously one-way in real-time.
But while there are some really freaky-deaky triggers out there (I’m looking at you, ‘please stroke your hand with a makeup brush’ person), I can’t deny that they work.
OK, to be clear, the makeup brush one did not work for me. But the whispering ones do. It’s really trippy.
Not for me, of course, I’m far too socially well-adjusted to succumb to something as droll as internet addiction.
But some of these videos create the illusion of shared, casual intimacy. That you’ve just sat down with an old friend who is stroking your face with a makeup brush as you chat.
And that, despite being entirely illusory, is powerful stuff.
Being a man who likes to throw his power around, I just had to make my own ASMR video.
Put on your headphones (for best effect) and click below to learn deep, dark secrets of my book hauling that will make your brain tingle.
If you need me, I’ll be alone in my man cave, watching some ASM-, er, listening to an NPR stream. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket.