These are not the magic mushrooms you are looking for

Athlete’s Ear looks like this, only with the ants deeper in the ear and white fuzz instead of ants

It’s amazing the number of things that can end up in your ears: air, water, ants, spiders (to eat the ants, of course), fingertips, cotton swabs (DON’T DO THAT!), raisins, worms, pencil shavings, paprika (don’t ask), cremated remains (seriously don’t ask), anti-fungal medication, tree sap, staples (up the three before there is bleeding), ear plugs, cheese whiz (it just feels SO good…), prison contraband (you think I’m putting stuff up my butt????), Compact Discs (disassembled), music, Ceti eel larvae, and calculator buttons. Thank goodness nothing else can get in there!

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