Prompt: Who was your most influential teacher? Why?
Mrs. Granaham, my kindergarten teacher.
She taught me and my classmates that evil does indeed exist in the world.
If you’re familiar with the (world’s best) comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, and Calvin’s teacher, Miss Wormwood, you are familiar with a light and whimsical version of Mrs. Granaham.
As I recollect, her hatred of children was palpable. Always a sharp tone, always an angry glare, always a bitterly disappointed sigh after every interaction with us kids.
And the notes sent home with us to our parents! The never-ending stream of notes, on folder sheets, on the corners of our schoolwork sheets, etched into the backs of our hands with an XACTO-knife.
Complaining about our immaturity.
Bemoaning our illiteracy.
Disparaging our lack of respect for authority.
Railing against our inability to sit still and shut up while she carved notes onto the backs of our hands.
You may think this is the result of childhood exaggeration and distorted memory, but my parents must have seen it too. They pulled me out of the school after surviving that first year.
I think for them it was Mrs. Granaham’s arrest after the disappearance of three classmates.
They vanished during nap time, never to be seen again.
But I will say this: Now that I’m a parent and have raised kids through that age, I can see where she was coming from…
ian m dudley 