And I thought they smelled bad on the *outside*

Our dog has a problem.

Well, two problems.

A flatulence problem.

And a separation anxiety, Imma gonna hang out with you all the time problem.

Perhaps it is more accurate to say my dog doesn’t have two problems, but instead, I have one problem.

But if I’m anything, I’m a problem-solver.

What HR and my exes say notwithstanding…

What better way to break the incredibly strong bond of insecurity than explosives?

And what better source of explosive power than the very root of the problem?

So I built a small harness that fits over the dog’s backside with an igniter I pulled from our furnace, a Raspberry Pi, a methane sensor, and a surprisingly large and heavy battery pack.

The dog does not like this harness.

Now when the dog farts while nestled up against me, instead of (successfully) resisting my pushes, shoves, and other desperate efforts to reach a minimum safe distance, the methane sensor triggers the igniter and the now-howling pooch rockets away from me.

Sure, I’m a bit singed after, but at least I don’t have to deal with that stench.

Now I just need to work out how to get the door to open every time the dog fires off…

Actor portrayal. Actual dog will not (and does not) look this happy during ignition. Or flight.